Day 11 Soul Searching

July 10, 2026

i have come to a stark realisation, i hate my job.

thats not all together uncommon, most people dont enjoy their job, thats why its called work. but i am just beyond careing at this point, its the same thing every day to little accnolagement and at this point its 90% watching an AI do it.

i used to be alright, when i had to actually build stuff but that all moved offshore. tickets werent too bad till the boss spent a month on my case for trivial bs. and the office was nice before it was decided we should work under exam conditions for some god forsaken reason

but even without these issues, im just bored, and im loosing patience. I like people, making others happy, fixing actual problems or entertaining a group, its why i enjoyed teaching so much, but after the desaster of my teacher training im in no hurry to go back to that

my sibling recommended becoming a counseler, ive not looked into it but that might be fun, helping troubled teens was the best part of teaching. i doubt it payes well though. making children happy was far and away considered the least important part of teaching and that pay was sub par

its tiering, im miserable, and i dont want to keep slamming my head against my desk and calling it a career. i dont hate programing (i mean i do this site as a hobby) but i do hate not seeing the point of what im doing. i think thats why i have been able to put up with dnd as long as i have, i know that is making some people happy even if the magic was lost for me a long long time ago

really i think i need to take a step back and reset, what do i want to do, what to i enjoy doing and why am i even doing what im doing. tbh i have the answer to exactly 0 of these questions lol

probably nothing will change and i will just grit my teeth and cope. even if thats not the healthiest mindset

in terms of site stuff i had some cool ideas, thinking of making a call and respond search box in the footer, restyle the site as a text based adventure in the style of Zork, that could be fun!

defanatly want my next CV to work like that, that would help me stand out.